Attraction to Large Breasts: A Mental Disorder or a Normal Preference?

Namaste. That you are thinking about this before marriage itself shows that you take the relationship seriously.

Direct answer: Being attracted to a particular physical appearance is not a mental disorder; most people have some such preference. It becomes a concern only when the preference starts harming the relationship, respect or daily life.

Preference and real attraction

Fantasies are often shaped by films, the internet and friends’ talk. But in married life physical attraction does not rest on one body part; touch, scent, laughter, conversation, trust and caring for each other slowly create a new attraction. Many men find that as the emotional bond with their partner deepens, their “preference” also changes.

If fantasies are mostly shaped by pornography, reducing it helps a great deal, because it creates unrealistic expectations about real bodies.

The Ayurvedic view

Ayurveda describes three qualities of the mind: Sattva (calm, understanding), Rajas (restlessness, the race of desires) and Tamas (inertia, delusion). When Rajas rises, the mind gets stuck on one kind of desire; when Sattva rises, a person can see the partner as a whole personality. To increase Sattva:
– Regular sleep and daily routine
– Sattvic, fresh food; stay away from alcohol and tobacco
– 10-15 minutes of meditation daily, Bhramari and Anulom-Vilom pranayama
– Reduce pornography and stimulating content

Practical advice

• Talk more with your future wife before marriage: interests, dreams, values. As you get to know each other, attraction grows too.
• Never compare or criticise her appearance; it can deeply hurt the relationship and her confidence.
• No hurry after marriage; come close slowly, giving time to touch and conversation.
• If worry about attraction continues after marriage, if there is difficulty with arousal, or guilt and restlessness grow, talking openly with a sexologist or counsellor is very helpful.

When to seek expert advice?

• Fantasies grow so much that interest in daily work or the relationship fades
• No arousal without pornography
• Constant sadness, restlessness or guilt
• Persistent difficulty in having intercourse after marriage

Example 1: A young man in his late twenties had the same worry. In the months before marriage he increased conversation and stopped pornography; a few months after marriage he said his attraction had moved from “one part of the body” to “the whole person”.

Example 2: Another husband had thoughts of comparison after marriage. After a few counselling sessions and open, respectful conversation with his wife, their relationship improved.

In short: Attraction to a particular physical appearance is not a mental disorder. In married life attraction is built through touch, communication and trust. Reducing pornography, meditation and more conversation with your partner narrow the gap between fantasy and reality.

You can consult freely about any confusion of the mind. Your information and consultation will remain completely confidential.